Frequently Asked Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
How many sessions?
You can book a single session. If you want another that is fine.
There is a lot of benefit in having at least two sessions in order to unpack problems and learn new skills.
Many people find that fours sessions is sufficent to go on. It is up to you how many sessions you want.
How long is a session?
Relationship Coaching sessions are one hour long. This hour includes initial setup discussion.
Where do we meet?
You can meet for coaching online via Zoom. This means you can meet anywhere, at a time that is convenient to you, with zero travel time.
You need access to internet with a webcam on your device.
I’ll email you an invitation before the session. Zoom Conference rooms make it easy for you to accept my invitation. You’ll enter a confidential video session with a tap of a button.
How much does a session cost ?
See pricing on my pricing page.
Pay by internet banking to confirm your appointment 03-1395-0350279-001.
Please provide 48 hours notice if you need to cancel or rescheduled an appointment.
I do not diagnose or treat psychopathology or mental illness. I can refer you to a counsellor if psychopathology or mental illness presents during the coaching session. My wife, Jenny, is a relationship counsellor. We have been married for over 33 years. Jenny takes clients with these issues.
How do I pay you?
I accept payment via internet banking
Coaching and Counselling
Grant and Green (2018) explain the differences: “A key difference between coaching and counselling relates to the goals or aims of the relationship. The coach aims to help the coachee identify personally valued goals or outcomes, and then supports them in working towards those goals. The counsellor’s aims are more focused on resolving emotional, psychological and relationship issues, alleviating distress and dealing with problems such as bereavement and divorce (Cavanagh & Buckley, 2014).
A coach may work with a coachee who is anxious, depressed or having relationship difficulties, but the aim of the coaching is not about directly addressing such issues; that is the role of the counsellor or psychotherapist. The aim of the coach is to help the coachee set and strive towards specified goals. Where issues of depression, anxiety or other aspects of psychopathology arise or are inhibiting the
coaching process, the role of the coach is to then refer the coachee to a suitable mental health professional (Cavanagh & Buckley, 2014).
In our experience it is a mistake, even for a qualified counsellor who has a coaching practice, to turn a coaching relationship with a coachee
into a therapeutic relationship if and when therapy needs emerge during coaching. Referral to another mental health professional is a
far better way forward, because the nature of the coach–coachee relationship differs significantly from the counsellor–client relationship.
However, depending on the counsellor’s dominant therapeutic theoretical framework, it may be possible to turn a counselling relationship into a successful coaching relationship. For example, an outcome-oriented solution-focused counselling approach may be more suitable for transition to a coaching approach than an in-depth psychodynamic approach.”
Grant AM, Green RM. Developing clarity on the coaching-counselling conundrum: Implications for counsellors and psychotherapists. Couns Psychother Res.2018;18:347–355. https://doi.org/10.1002/capr.12188
I coach couples across New Zealand via Skype. Webcam required.
A randomized controlled trial of the web-based OurRelationship program: Effects on relationship and individual functioning. J Consult Clin Psychology
2016 Apr; 84:285.
Joel Yager, MD
Doss BD et al. (http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.waikato.ac.nz/10.1037/ccp0000063)
This 8-hour, Web-based program with minimal coaching improved both relationship and individual outcomes.
Although roughly one third of married couples report significant relationship distress, one survey suggested that fewer than one fifth of distressed couples and only about one third of divorcing couples tried couples therapy. Time conflicts, finances, and stigma can be obstacles. To test the efficacy of a Web-based intervention, investigators (2 with financial interests in the intervention) recruited 300 heterosexual couples to participate in a “marriage counseling alternative.” At least one partner reported at least moderate dissatisfaction with the relationship.
Exclusions included suicidal ideation, fear of intimate partner violence, concrete plans for divorce, and/or being in couples therapy. Couples were randomized to an 8-hour adaptation of integrative behavioral couples therapy (IBCT) or to a wait list. The therapy consisted of three sections (Observe, Understand, and Respond) and was intended to enhance identification and understanding of problems, provide communication patterns and tips, and encourage acceptance and self-change. Additionally, four scripted, phone/videoconferenced coaching sessions, each lasting ≤15 minutes, focused on the program itself. At the program’s conclusion, the couple received tailored feedback and recommendations regarding next steps, including referrals.
About 86% of couples completed all three sections, and another 5% completed two. Compared with the wait list, active treatment resulted in moderate effect sizes for improved relationship satisfaction and reduced relationship negatives; effect sizes were smaller for improvements in relationship confidence and individuals’ self-ratings of depression and anxiety. Larger improvements in depression and quality of life occurred in individuals beginning the program with more problematic functioning.
Although limited by brief self-report ratings, these promising findings in distressed couples deserve further study for persistence, possible generalization of positive effects, better delineation of appropriate couples, outcomes when one partner versus both engage, and applications of this approach in stepped-care models with clinically assessed couples.
Now some words about Juliette Smith. Juliette Smith is not “just” a relationship coach
She is highly qualified to give you the relationship help you need and has an abundance of training and experience.
She is passionate about helping people to live authentically and get the most out of life and she is gifted at getting to the heart of the issue, quickly and sensitively.
Seventeen years of working with hundreds of coaching clients following years of hands-on directorship roles (together with her “unmentionable number” of years life experience) means she has a myriad of practical solutions for the problems people face in their relationships and day to day lives.
Her own experience of relationship therapy and marriage counselling (where the focus was on problems and past hurts) led her to take a very different approach in her own coaching. She helps her clients focus on what they want, rather than what doesn’t work. She has worked with what some would call world leaders in the field of relationship therapy such as John and Julia Gottman.
Juliette is not afraid to be honest about what she thinks and if that also means being tough or challenging, she will be. She is highly skilled at quickly diagnosing what is really happening (often diving deeply beneath the presenting problems) and supporting her clients to move through their limitations, rather than avoiding them. She is not afraid of people’s emotions and encourages her clients to connect with theirs because of the valuable information emotions can have for us.
Because she is committed to her own personal, professional and spiritual development (she regularly updates her knowledge and skills through training, supervision and her own coaching), she doesn’t just “coach from a book”. She teaches, challenges, encourages and supports and is intuitive, insightful, and deeply caring.
She says the most rewarding part of what she does, which often deeply moves her, is when she sees a client “reconnect with a heart that had been closed down”. She says her clients are amongst her greatest teachers and she feels humbled by the transformations she is privileged to witness in the “wonderful and courageous human beings” she works with.
You can find some of her qualifications here but our suggestion is that you contact Juliette Smith to arrange a trial session so you can find out for yourself how skilled she is and how easy she is to talk to.
Money in Marriage issues
Couples Coaching – Marriage Coaching
It happens only in movies that they fall in love and live happily ever after. In reality, all relationships change over time. Many couples who face relationship difficulties turn to a Marriage Counsellor to help them move to a more loving and peaceful relationship. If you are considering marriage or couples counselling, you may wish to explore working with a Life Coach as an alternative. Coaching is proactive and explores mutual change rather than therapeutic.
Has your relationship changed in an unsatisfying way? Have you lost that loving feeling? Are you not getting what you want and what is important to you? Coaching may help you, especially if you feel that a “a course correction” or injection of passion is all that is needed.
Maybe your partner doesn’t want to stay committed. Perhaps there is not enough sex or intimacy. You don’t feel understood, loved, and appreciated, or maybe you feel taken for granted. Are you stuck in an old routine? Maybe you are both stuck, and unhappy. Do you keep arguing over the same stuff and feel there is little or no communication? Perhaps you can’t cope with jealousy or your partner drives you crazy. Maybe you’re facing the threat of divorce. Or perhaps, you’ve had to deal with emotional or physical abuse.
Don’t wait until it’s too late. The time to act is now!
With my help you can transform your relationship into a really satisfying one. The one you’ve always wanted, where you can be yourself, and feel understood and appreciated.
Why not give coaching a try. You can learn how to communicate easily, be loving, and feel loved.
Couples coaching works best when each partner has individual as well as joint sessions. This ensures that each of you has the opportunity to fully express your concerns without fear of hurting the other partner’s feelings. Of course, all sessions are confidential, which allows you to safely express your deepest feelings. My job as a couples coach is very often similar to mediating, as I act as a peacemaker between two sides. With me there is a much bigger chance that your partner will eventually
understand your point of view and that you will be able to work things out.
Couples coaching New Zealand Online – Marriage coaching New Zealand Online