Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

How many sessions?

You can book a single session. If you want another that is fine.

There is a lot of benefit in having at least two sessions in order to unpack problems and learn new skills.

Many people find that fours sessions is sufficent to go on. It is up to you how many sessions you want.

How long is a session?

Relationship Coaching sessions are one hour long. This hour includes initial setup discussion.

    Where do we meet?

    You can meet for coaching online via Zoom. This means you can meet anywhere, at a time that is convenient to you, with zero travel time.

    You need access to internet with a webcam on your device.

    I’ll email you an invitation before the session. Zoom Conference rooms make it easy for you to accept my invitation.  You’ll enter a confidential video session with a tap of a button.

    How much does a session cost ?

    See pricing on my pricing page.

    Pay by internet banking to confirm your appointment 03-1395-0350279-001.


    Please provide 48 hours notice if you need to cancel or rescheduled an appointment.

    Counselling referrals

    I do not diagnose or treat psychopathology or mental illness. I can refer you to a counsellor if psychopathology or mental illness presents during the coaching session. My wife, Jenny, is a relationship counsellor. We have been married for over 33 years. Jenny takes clients with these issues. 

    How do I pay you?

    I accept payment via internet banking


    Coaching and Counselling

     Grant and Green (2018) explain the differences: “A key difference between coaching and counselling relates to the goals or aims of the relationship. The coach aims to help the coachee identify personally valued goals or outcomes, and then supports them in working towards those goals. The counsellor’s aims are more focused on resolving emotional, psychological and relationship issues, alleviating distress and dealing with problems such as bereavement and divorce (Cavanagh & Buckley, 2014).
    A coach may work with a coachee who is anxious, depressed or having relationship difficulties, but the aim of the coaching is not about directly addressing such issues; that is the role of the counsellor or psychotherapist. The aim of the coach is to help the coachee set and strive towards specified goals. Where issues of depression, anxiety or other aspects of psychopathology arise or are inhibiting the
    coaching process, the role of the coach is to then refer the coachee to a suitable mental health professional (Cavanagh & Buckley, 2014).
    In our experience it is a mistake, even for a qualified counsellor who has a coaching practice, to turn a coaching relationship with a coachee
    into a therapeutic relationship if and when therapy needs emerge during coaching. Referral to another mental health professional is a
    far better way forward, because the nature of the coach–coachee relationship differs significantly from the counsellor–client relationship.
    However, depending on the counsellor’s dominant therapeutic theoretical framework, it may be possible to turn a counselling relationship into a successful coaching relationship. For example, an outcome-oriented solution-focused counselling approach may be more suitable for transition to a coaching approach than an in-depth psychodynamic approach.”

    Grant AM, Green RM. Developing clarity on the coaching-counselling conundrum: Implications for counsellors and psychotherapists. Couns Psychother Res.2018;18:347–355. https://doi.org/10.1002/capr.12188


    I coach couples across New Zealand via Skype. Webcam required.

    Relationship Coaching

    A randomized controlled trial of the web-based OurRelationship program: Effects on relationship and individual functioning. J Consult Clin Psychology

    2016 Apr; 84:285.

    Joel Yager, MD

    Doss BD et al. (http://dx.doi.org.ezproxy.waikato.ac.nz/10.1037/ccp0000063)

    This 8-hour, Web-based program with minimal coaching improved both relationship and individual outcomes.

    Although roughly one third of married couples report significant relationship distress, one survey suggested that fewer than one fifth of distressed couples and only about one third of divorcing couples tried couples therapy. Time conflicts, finances, and stigma can be obstacles. To test the efficacy of a Web-based intervention, investigators (2 with financial interests in the intervention) recruited 300 heterosexual couples to participate in a “marriage counseling alternative.” At least one partner reported at least moderate dissatisfaction with the relationship.

    Exclusions included suicidal ideation, fear of intimate partner violence, concrete plans for divorce, and/or being in couples therapy. Couples were randomized to an 8-hour adaptation of integrative behavioral couples therapy (IBCT) or to a wait list. The therapy consisted of three sections (Observe, Understand, and Respond) and was intended to enhance identification and understanding of problems, provide communication patterns and tips, and encourage acceptance and self-change. Additionally, four scripted, phone/videoconferenced coaching sessions, each lasting ≤15 minutes, focused on the program itself. At the program’s conclusion, the couple received tailored feedback and recommendations regarding next steps, including referrals.

    About 86% of couples completed all three sections, and another 5% completed two. Compared with the wait list, active treatment resulted in moderate effect sizes for improved relationship satisfaction and reduced relationship negatives; effect sizes were smaller for improvements in relationship confidence and individuals’ self-ratings of depression and anxiety. Larger improvements in depression and quality of life occurred in individuals beginning the program with more problematic functioning.

    Although limited by brief self-report ratings, these promising findings in distressed couples deserve further study for persistence, possible generalization of positive effects, better delineation of appropriate couples, outcomes when one partner versus both engage, and applications of this approach in stepped-care models with clinically assessed couples.

    Marriage Coaching

    Now some words about Juliette Smith. Juliette Smith is not “just” a relationship coach

    She is highly qualified to give you the relationship help you need and has an abundance of training and experience.

    She is passionate about helping people to live authentically and get the most out of life and she is gifted at getting to the heart of the issue, quickly and sensitively.

    Seventeen years of working with hundreds of coaching clients following years of hands-on directorship roles (together with her “unmentionable number” of years life experience) means she has a myriad of practical solutions for the problems people face in their relationships and day to day lives.

    Her own experience of relationship therapy and marriage counselling (where the focus was on problems and past hurts) led her to take a very different approach in her own coaching. She helps her clients focus on what they want, rather than what doesn’t work. She has worked with what some would call world leaders in the field of relationship therapy such as John and Julia Gottman.

    Juliette is not afraid to be honest about what she thinks and if that also means being tough or challenging, she will be. She is highly skilled at quickly diagnosing what is really happening (often diving deeply beneath the presenting problems) and supporting her clients to move through their limitations, rather than avoiding them. She is not afraid of people’s emotions and encourages her clients to connect with theirs because of the valuable information emotions can have for us.

    Because she is committed to her own personal, professional and spiritual development (she regularly updates her knowledge and skills through training, supervision and her own coaching), she doesn’t just “coach from a book”. She teaches, challenges, encourages and supports and is intuitive, insightful, and deeply caring.

    She says the most rewarding part of what she does, which often deeply moves her, is when she sees a client “reconnect with a heart that had been closed down”. She says her clients are amongst her greatest teachers and she feels humbled by the transformations she is privileged to witness in the “wonderful and courageous human beings” she works with.

    You can find some of her qualifications here but our suggestion is that you contact Juliette Smith to arrange a trial session so you can find out for yourself how skilled she is and how easy she is to talk to.

    Money in Marriage issues

    Couples Coaching – Marriage Coaching

    It happens only in movies that they fall in love and live happily ever after. In reality, all relationships change over time. Many couples who face relationship difficulties turn to a Marriage Counsellor to help them move to a more loving and peaceful relationship. If you are considering marriage or couples counselling, you may wish to explore working with a Life Coach as an alternative. Coaching is proactive and explores mutual change rather than therapeutic.

    Has your relationship changed in an unsatisfying way? Have you lost that loving feeling? Are you not getting what you want and what is important to you? Coaching may help you, especially if you feel that a “a course correction” or injection of passion is all that is needed.

    Maybe your partner doesn’t want to stay committed. Perhaps there is not enough sex or intimacy. You don’t feel understood, loved, and appreciated, or maybe you feel taken for granted. Are you stuck in an old routine? Maybe you are both stuck, and unhappy. Do you keep arguing over the same stuff and feel there is little or no communication? Perhaps you can’t cope with jealousy or your partner drives you crazy. Maybe you’re facing the threat of divorce. Or perhaps, you’ve had to deal with emotional or physical abuse.

    Don’t wait until it’s too late. The time to act is now!

    With my help you can transform your relationship into a really satisfying one. The one you’ve always wanted, where you can be yourself, and feel understood and appreciated.

    Why not give coaching a try. You can learn how to communicate easily, be loving, and feel loved.

    Couples coaching works best when each partner has individual as well as joint sessions. This ensures that each of you has the opportunity to fully express your concerns without fear of hurting the other partner’s feelings. Of course, all sessions are confidential, which allows you to safely express your deepest feelings. My job as a couples coach is very often similar to mediating, as I act as a peacemaker between two sides. With me there is a much bigger chance that your partner will eventually

    understand your point of view and that you will be able to work things out.

    Couples coaching New Zealand Online – Marriage coaching New Zealand Online

    Power and control issues
    HAVE A HEALTHY MARRIAGE ONCE AGAIN Best Online Marriage Counseling Services – November 2019 According to the American Psychological Association, roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce. However, this doesn’t have to be the case and the trend may even be reversing course. Whether it’s due to time constraints or various myths associated with marriage counseling, many unhappy couples do not seek out therapy to help save their relationships. But with the emergence of online marriage counseling, more couples have been able to work through the issues in a more efficient and discreet environment. The following table compares the top online marriage counseling services today. All of them connect you with licensed therapists with experience and training in marriage counseling, but they differ in the various features they offer. Choosing a therapy provider is an important decision, so make sure you pick the best online marriage counseling website for your needs. What is Online Therapy? Online therapy, the digital-age version of counseling services, is a more affordable, convenient and discrete method of receiving therapy. It began when a few pioneers saw a large opportunity in the mental health industry. They noticed that millions of people were living without access to professional mental health services. They also understood that in numerous industries, physical services were being replaced with digital alternatives that can save time for customers. These innovators decided to create online therapy platforms, which connect licensed therapists with people in need of professional counseling services. The therapists on each platform have been pre-screened by that company to meet their requirements for years of experience, educational background, certification, licensing, specialties and more. Once these therapists join the platform, they are available to work with new customers that sign up. The customers can provide feedback on how satisfied they are with each therapist, allowing the online therapy providers to improve the quality of their services by coaching or removing therapists with low satisfaction scores. Customers signing up with these therapy sites typically complete a brief questionnaire that evaluates their individual needs. This information is used to match them to therapists with relevant professional experience and backgrounds. The customers and therapists are then introduced online and begin communicating via messaging, live chat, phone calls, mobile app, or video conferencing. The exact communication options vary between the different services. Those companies listed by our editors as being among the best online therapy services tend to offer more communication options for maximum convenience. Aside from being more affordable and convenient than in-person therapy, another major benefit is that if the customer is dissatisfied with their therapist, they can be assigned a new one with a few days. Compared with the awkward and time-consuming, process of switching in-person therapists, this may just be the most underrated advantage of online therapy. While the online therapy industry is still in its early years, as it currently stands, there are no shortage of online therapy providers available to people looking for professional help. There are nearly 100 services, each offering its own unique set of features and focusing on different specialties such as online marriage counseling or cognitive behavioral therapy. The number of providers is expected to grow as the demand increases over time, making it increasingly difficult for the average consumer to differentiate between the various options available to them. Therefore, we’ve have evaluated each of the leading online therapy services, outlining all the pertinent information one needs to make an informed decision when selecting the best online counseling provider for their individual needs. Understanding our Online Therapy Reviews & Rankings Therapy is not a quick-fix type of service. It typically involves a long-term process of gradually opening up to the therapist and working on oneself to confront emotions, change bad habits and eventually overcome complicated challenges. Naturally, outcomes vary widely, and thus success fluctuates significantly between different individuals. Understanding that when it comes to emotional well-being, the definition of success also varies greatly, our rankings were heavily impacted by overall customer success stories. This information was collected over hundreds of hours of research from thousands of online therapy reviews. In addition to the analysis of our researchers, we collect feedback from professional therapists and technologists that understand both therapeutic and technological aspects of the features provided by each online therapy service we review. This includes the individual benefits of each provider, in addition to the effectiveness and drawbacks. Additionally, these reviews take a deep dive into the various areas of what the service offers including the features, sign-up process, pricing, usability, counselor support, confidentiality/privacy, counselor qualifications, and each service’s areas of strength and weakness. It’s important to note that our reviews and rankings are based on of our knowledge and experience of using each service. Success can vary from person to person and thus it’s imperative to find the service that’s tailored to best suit your specific needs. Best Online Counseling Services Reviewed

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