Hi! I’m Henk
I help people intentionally create
a meaningful relationship.
I coach couples for intentional change
toward long-lasting, enduring relationships
Intentionally Intimate Relationships
I work as an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research based tools to build long-lasting relationships.
Build lasting intimacy
I hope to help you and your partner to improve your emotional connection and build lasting intimacy.
I prefer to hold to a non-judgemental style where I can focus upon understanding your problem story and help you to create a new connected story into your future together.
Research based coaching
I am an Intentionally Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research based tools to build long-lasting relationships. I am drawn to a non-judgemental style and the capacity to see the root problem. I assist where you and your partner can improve your emotional connection and build lasting intimacy.
Henk Ensing | Relationships Coach
B.Ed. Degree, University of Waikato; Associate of Science Degree, Brigham Young University Hawaii; post graduate studies in Conflict Resolution within relationships, University of Waikato (2019). More …
You’re taking a huge step towards creating a happy and long-lasting relationship just by learning some simple skills that can make a huge difference in your relationship.
You are not alone. It is probably not as impossible as you might think. Change is not only possible, it is intended.
I believe that there is no greater joy than that which can be had within good, loving, family relationships.
I believe that couples are meant to live in love and unity with respect for each other. I can help you with that.
A secure, meaningful relationship
My mission is to support each couple in cultivating a secure and meaningful relationship. In essence, I want you to have the knowledge and skills on how to express your needs, be creative in conflict, and be playful in your relationship.
Step 1: Get to know me
Hi, I’m Henk, and I’m glad you’re here because it means you’re exploring ways to improve your relationship.
Cultivating a passionate and meaningful relationship is one of the most fulfilling experiences there is. I believe that every day you can wake up to a better relationship.
Step 2: Join the community
I am here to support you on cultivating a passionate relationship that brings out the best in you. I can’t promise it will be easy, but I can promise that it will be worth it.
The best way to start your journey to a healthier, happier and more meaningful relationship is to subscribe below to receive the latest articles and exclusive subscriber-only tools.
“Would you like to transform fighting from being hurtful to being a catalyst for intimacy and connection? I can coach you in several simple skills that have have far reaching effects.”
“In a way, acquiring relationship skills can be like learning Aikido, a Japanese self-defense martial art. It is immensely beneficial to have third-party perspective from a skilled coach. Also, you need to practice on people.”
Some years ago our family enrolled in Aikedo, a modern Japanese martial art. We learned the goal is to defend ourselves while also protecting our attacker from injury.
Aikido became our family sport for the year.
Aikedo cannot be mastered by reading a book or a blog about it. Neither can Aikedo be learned in isolation from others. To learn Aikedo we needed our sensei (coach) to guide us. To observe what we were doing. We needed to practice on each other many times until the moves became natural to us. Learning relationship skills is very much like learning Aikido.
As a couple, you can benefit from relationship-coach interventions. A coach can observe what each of you are doing, or saying. Also, both of you can improve your relationship by practicing the relationship skills at home.
Your home is your dojo (gymn). With practice, over time, you will both learn how to communicate with greater skill in a natural way without injuring each other.
It’s a date. OK?
The Therapist’s Role in Effective Marriage and Family Therapy Practice: The Case for Evidence Based Therapists
Blow, Adrian J; Karam, Eli A.Administration and Policy in Mental Health and Mental Health Services Research; New York Vol. 44, Iss. 5, (Sep 2017): 716-723. DOI:10.1007/s10488-016-0768-8
Abstract In this paper we argue that the therapist is a crucial change variable in psychotherapy as a whole and in couple, marital, and family therapy specifcally. Therapists who work with complex systems require more skills to negotiate demanding therapy contexts. Yet, little is known about what differentiates effective couple, marital, and family therapists from those who are less effective, what innate therapy skills they possess, how they learn, and how they operationalize their knowledge in the therapy room. We discuss the need to emphasize evidence based therapists (as opposed to therapies), and implications of the importance of the role therapists for training, practice, research priorities, and policy. Keywords Therapist · Couple, marital, and family therapist · Evidence based therapists
Introduction In psychotherapy generally and in couple, marital, and family therapy specifically, numerous studies and metaanalyses have pointed to the critical role of the therapist in change processes; the therapist is a central figure in positive (and negative) therapeutic change (Blow et al. 2007; Wampold 2001). This statement implies that evidence based practice is not solely comprised of well validated, theoretically coherent treatments, found in lifeless books/ manuals. Rather, effective practice occurs through competent clinicians who draw from the best evidence available as well as lean on their clinical wisdom. A growing body of literature indicates that there is no doubt that effective treatment fows through wise, skilled, and fexible clinicians (Wampold 2001; Wampold and Brown 2005; Wampold and Imel 2015). These clinicians are able to engage client systems, navigate the therapy process, and work with openness to feedback from their clients about progress. Ideally, these clinicians deliver treatments informed by the best available evidence, and which ft well with the cultural and contextual components of the clients with whom they work (APA Presidential Task Force on Evidence-Based Practice 2006). These clinicians require therapeutic wisdom and elasticity, knowing when to shift direction and try something new when therapy is not going well. In short, effective therapists are able to work in evidence informed ways, adhering to evidence-based treatment approaches where indicated, and departing from these approaches when suggested by the client system, treatment progress, or the therapeutic context.
Counseling and coaching in times of crisis and transitions : from research to practice
Laura Nota 1966- author. Salvatore Soresi, author.
Abingdon, Oxon ; New York, NY : Routledge . 2018
Counseling and Coaching in Times of Crisis and Transition explores how threats and challenges caused by rapid social and technological changes require counselors and coaches to rethink their usual ways of working, and, in some cases, even abandon their traditional theoretical anchors. The authors of this forward-thinking book argue that practitioners who aim to help others strengthen their resources can no longer afford to wait for clients in their offices or offer them protected, objective and neutral professional relationships.
Contributors from around the world argue that there is a real need for new counseling and coaching actions to be delivered in different contexts: counselors and coaches should be able to use heterogeneous languages and interventions, as well as numerous relationship modalities and activities in order to streamline the support that they offer to people in sectors as diverse as health and well-being, life and career design, prevention and community inclusion, work inclusion, and schools. The book provides an evidence-based framework, with numerous counseling and coaching examples that are capable of promoting people’s strengths, whether this be face-to-face, in groups, or online.
This book will appeal to academics, researchers and postgraduate students in the fields of counseling and coaching, as well as those with an interest in psychological, social and educational science. It should also be essential reading for practitioners and policymakers in a diverse range of contexts, including those working on intervention and support for vulnerable people, non-traditional and disadvantaged students, and people with disabilities.